Sunday, May 16, 2010

Sadness creeping in!

I can't believe i only have 2 weeks left until i go to the states for my furlough.  even though i'm so excited to see all of you again and enjoy carpeted floors, comfy couches, my starbucks iced vanilla soy lattes, being able to go wherever whenever i want, go to coffee shops and read for hours on end, etc. etc., i'm really starting to get sad that i'm not going to be seeing all of my kids here at the orphanage for awhile!  

My roommates and i have just recently began meeting one on one with each of our girls in the orphanage to do weekly Bible studies with them, and it has been such an incredible blessing (one in which just accepted Christ into her heart this week!) for both us and the girls, and i really hate the thought of having to leave them and not be able to really be there for them to see them grow in the Lord in the next few months!  i will just have to really be praying for them while i'm away, in hopes that the Lord will continue to do an incredible work on their hearts, which I am confident that He will!  

Recently i have been feeling so blessed and honored that God has specifically called me to come and work here among the orphans of Haiti.  i read those books about missionaries who dedicate their lives to working with the orphans and widows, and i just feel so blessed that i am able to do what they talk about and be able to be with these children daily and see their ups and down's and hug them when they're having a bad day and be able to pray with them and minister to them and show them who Christ is.  please be praying as God continues to show me how i can more specifically minister to them.  i need daily wisdom in this!  already He has given me a greater vision of what He wants from me, which is such an encouragement to me.  it really helps me focus my attention more on His desires for me as i reach out to these children and the many teams that come through here.  so thank you for your unending prayers!  

This past week God has really been challenging me to get out of my comfort zone and try new things, such as preach at our muTch (which stands for "Meals and Uncompromised Truth to the Children of Haiti) feeding program, and it has been so incredible seeing how Christ moves when i simply obey Him and act out of faith instead of comfort.  

The greatest struggle of a missionary is not the discomforts of living, the heat, the lack of safety, or being away from family and friends (although that can be pretty hard at times!), but it is the struggle of feeling like we'll never be enough and never be able to do enough for all of the broken, lonely, starving people that we come in contact with every day.  

I've realized though, that God never asked us to be enough for everyone.  He only asks that we do our best, and leave the rest up to Him.  

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