myHeart.Haiti

Struck down but not destroyed

2011-07-20T09:25:00.000-07:00

Isaiah 60

Arise, shine; for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you. For behold, darkness will cover the earth, and deep darkness the peoples; But the Lord will rise upon you, and his glory will appear upon you. Nations will come to your life, and kings to the brightness of your rising. Lift up your eyes round about and see; they all gather together, they come to you. Your sons will come from afar, and your daughters will be carried in your arms. Then you will see and be radiant, and your heart will thrill and rejoice; because the abundance of the sea will be turned to you, the weatlth of the nations will come to you.

To be honest, this past year in the states has been a struggle. As wonderful as San Diego is, it isn't home to me anymore. Haiti is my home. And I think that me and anyone else who knows me at all would say the same exact thing. Ever since I was 17, the people of Haiti have captured my heart, and though I don't know what He has planned for me next, I know that He will show me. I would never take back my return to the states, because I know that I needed to rest. However, I am now getting to a place where I know that God is preparing me for something more. It's when God brings us to that completely broken state, that He can finally begin to show us what He really wants. So it would mean the world to me if you would begin praying for me that God would show me what He wants, and when He wants it. I love you all so much.

Christ.our deepest need.

2010-08-27T08:34:00.000-07:00

"I remember saying one summer, "What I really need is a trip to the ocean." So I went to the beach, but the ocean seemed to say,'It is not in me!" The ocean did not do for me what I thought it would. Then I said, "Perhaps the mountains will provide the rest I need." I went to the mountains, and when I awoke the first morning, I gazed at the magnificent mountain I had so longed to see. But the sight did not satisfy, and the mountain said, It is not in me!"
What I really needed was the deep ocean of God's love, and the high mountains of His truth within me. His wisdom had depths and heights that neither the ocean nor the mountains could contain and that could not be compared with jewels, gold, or precious stones. Christ is wisdom and He is our deepest need. Our inner restlessness can only be pacified by the revelation of His eternal friendship and love for us."
-Margaret Bottome, Excerpt from "Streams in the Desert"

I find myself trying to do this so often- trying to fill that need by getting my vanilla soy lattes, or going on a walk along the ocean, or hanging out with friends, and although these are all things that are meant to be enjoyed, they, in the end, don't fill me up. They don't fill that void. In the end, i always realize (it's an ever constant learning process for me!) that Christ is all that truly fulfills me.

"Forgotten God"

2010-07-27T19:06:00.000-07:00

I love this quote made by Francis Chan in one of his most recent books, "Forgotten God," that says, "If I were Satan and my ultimate goal was to thwart God’s kingdom and purposes, one of my main strategies would be to get churchgoers to ignore the Holy Spirit.” This quote should be such a wake-up call to us, because how much do we forget about the Holy Spirit because we're so distracted by everything else going on around us?

Also, Christ told his disciples in John 16:7 "But I tell you the truth: It is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Counselor will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you." In "Forgotten God," he wanted us to recognize the fact that Christ is telling His disciples that it's actually better for us to have the Holy Spirit, our Counselor, with us instead of Jesus himself in physical form. When Christ was on earth, let's face it, life was pretty awesome for everyone who knew Him. So if he's saying that it's actually better that we have the Counselor to guide us rather than Christ in physical form, then life for us should be pretty incredible and challenging! So with that said, i have been really challenged by what he's saying in this book, because honestly, when i think back on the times when i am really listening to the Holy Spirit, it really is the greatest adventure ever, and by far the most amazing and impactful times ever for both me and the others around me.

Trusting God in Everything...

2010-07-16T20:08:00.000-07:00

Why is it sometimes so hard for us to just trust God in our lives? Why can't we just trust who He says He is, and what He says He will do without doubting and worrying so much? He says that He'll direct us, and give us peace in all things that are honoring and pleasing to Him, so why don't we just always believe it? I think we make life so much harder on ourselves when we worry and don't just hand everything over to God! I mean really, let's think about it, in all honesty, who should we trust more- ourselves or God? I'd like to go with the second option(!) because He's so much smarter than me and sees EVERYTHING, whereas I only see what I know so far... This past month of being in the states, God has really been showing me how to do just that- trust Him! No matter what obstacles and decisions come up, I know that if I'm looking to Him and sitting at His feet (which is truly the most refreshing thing ever!), He will guide me and give me peace! So i would encourage all of you to just sit at the feet of Jesus more and more, because HE is where our true joy will come from. He loves us so much and wants us to experience life to the fullest with Him! Let's make time for Him, because He loves us so much and wants the best for us. I would encourage you to trust Him in all of the little and big things in your lives, because He cares so much!

Psalm 145

¹⁵ The eyes of all look to you,

and you give them their food at the proper time.

¹⁶ You open your hand
and satisfy the desires of every living thing.

¹⁷ The LORD is righteous in all his ways
and loving toward all he has made.

¹⁸ The LORD is near to all who call on him,
to all who call on him in truth.

¹⁹ He fulfills the desires of those who fear him;
he hears their cry and saves them.

Cindy

2010-05-28T10:04:00.000-07:00

You know those moments when you think, 'now this is why i'm here, and this makes it all worth it.' Well, i had one of those moments the other night when i was reading a bedtime story to Cindy. i was reading to her about 3 little cats, and she was half closing her eyes and trying to fall asleep (although how could she with such an exciting story about 3 cats?!), and she wrapped her arms tightly around my arm and told me that she never wanted me to leave her side. She wanted me to stay with her forever.
Now you have to understand that Cindy is one of our girls who, for years she despised physical touch and would never say "i love you" to anyone. When they first got her from Cite Soleil after we found out her parents wanted to throw her away, she would bite and scratch anyone who tried to show her love. All of the people that worked with her would just continue to hold her even though she continued to resist being held. Now, she is a walking miracle. And it's all because of what Christ has done in her life. She is now one of the most cuddly children that we have (with certain people that she knows and can trust) at our home, and she has told me multiple times that she loves me, and will often now be the one to come up to me and others who live here and hug us and rub our backs! She is such an incredible testimony of what Christ's love can do!

Sadness creeping in!

2010-05-16T06:30:00.001-07:00

I can't believe i only have 2 weeks left until i go to the states for my furlough. even though i'm so excited to see all of you again and enjoy carpeted floors, comfy couches, my starbucks iced vanilla soy lattes, being able to go wherever whenever i want, go to coffee shops and read for hours on end, etc. etc., i'm really starting to get sad that i'm not going to be seeing all of my kids here at the orphanage for awhile!

My roommates and i have just recently began meeting one on one with each of our girls in the orphanage to do weekly Bible studies with them, and it has been such an incredible blessing (one in which just accepted Christ into her heart this week!) for both us and the girls, and i really hate the thought of having to leave them and not be able to really be there for them to see them grow in the Lord in the next few months! i will just have to really be praying for them while i'm away, in hopes that the Lord will continue to do an incredible work on their hearts, which I am confident that He will!

Recently i have been feeling so blessed and honored that God has specifically called me to come and work here among the orphans of Haiti. i read those books about missionaries who dedicate their lives to working with the orphans and widows, and i just feel so blessed that i am able to do what they talk about and be able to be with these children daily and see their ups and down's and hug them when they're having a bad day and be able to pray with them and minister to them and show them who Christ is. please be praying as God continues to show me how i can more specifically minister to them. i need daily wisdom in this! already He has given me a greater vision of what He wants from me, which is such an encouragement to me. it really helps me focus my attention more on His desires for me as i reach out to these children and the many teams that come through here. so thank you for your unending prayers!

This past week God has really been challenging me to get out of my comfort zone and try new things, such as preach at our muTch (which stands for "Meals and Uncompromised Truth to the Children of Haiti) feeding program, and it has been so incredible seeing how Christ moves when i simply obey Him and act out of faith instead of comfort.

The greatest struggle of a missionary is not the discomforts of living, the heat, the lack of safety, or being away from family and friends (although that can be pretty hard at times!), but it is the struggle of feeling like we'll never be enough and never be able to do enough for all of the broken, lonely, starving people that we come in contact with every day.

I've realized though, that God never asked us to be enough for everyone. He only asks that we do our best, and leave the rest up to Him.

Answer to prayer

2010-05-16T06:30:00.000-07:00

I am so in awe of God's love, mercy and grace. He has been so gentle with me, and patient, guiding me step by step in His perfect way. I know that He will continue to accomplish what He has set out to do in and through me, and I can't help but be so thankful that I can always put complete confidence in Him! I have really experienced his love in such an incredible way recently, and I have to thank you all for making this happen. Two days after I posted my blog entry a couple weeks ago asking you to pray for me, I experienced such a change in my heart. It is incredible. I want to thank you for all of your prayers (James 5:16), because without your prayers i don't know where i'd be!

My Latest Happenings!

2010-05-05T10:19:00.000-07:00

Pictured from left to right: Ashley, Brooke, me, Whitney

I feel so blessed to have 3 such wonderful, beautiful roommates (pictured below). Not only have we been through an earthquake together (minus Whitney) and risen above it since then, we have also brought so much laughter to each other's lives in such chaotic times of sheer madness :), we've seen each other through the best and worst of situations, we have all been able to be there for each other to be shoulders to cry on and ears to listen, and we've all been able to share each other's wardrobes!

I can't imagine Haiti without them.

Above: Matt (our other housemate who has to put up with us four girls all of the time (i don't know how he does it!)) & Whitney decorating Kenny while he was sleeping at Brooke's birthday party...poor kid! ;-)

Us at our Easter sunrise service up on the mountain with some of our friends, Luke and Tyler, who lived and worked near us for 2 months.

Below: One of our many talent shows with the kidsies (Patrick and Israel pictured below)

Below: Photos of downtown Port-au-Prince

Sarah Angelica was born a few weeks ago in the middle of the night in our clinic. We had both a nurse (who specialized in this) and a doctor on our team at the time, so it was a huge blessing that she was born a little before her due date! God is so good!

Photos of our muTch feeding program! Thanks Jason for donating the Creole verse coloring books to us!

Thank you for this Donation ;-)

2010-04-28T07:25:00.000-07:00

Everyone should have a snuggie in Haiti!

The Motions

2010-04-27T09:04:00.000-07:00

"The Motions" Matthew West

This might hurt, it's not safe

But i know that i've gotta make a change

I don't care if i break

At least i'll be feeling something

'Cause just okay is not enough

Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don't wanna go through the motions

I don't wanna go one more day

Without your all consuming passion inside of me

This song represents what i've been feeling like recently, and to be honest, it's been hard. i feel like my heart breaks less easily now, and i'm tired of feeling this way. i can see how God is working on my heart little by little, but it's taking longer than i would like it to! i know that it is during these times that God wants me to just continue to be faithful and cling to Him, but it doesn't mean that it makes it any easier. i'm excited for the day when my heart will be completely broken once again. So please be praying for me in this. Through it all though, i know that God is faithful, and He will bring me to a place of even greater brokenness and strength. i just have to continue to be faithful to Him.

Never put your dog in a tin metal cage...

2010-04-01T16:29:00.000-07:00

So the other morning we all woke up to the sound of what we thought was construction. Unfortunately, it wasn't. Our neighbor apparently thought it'd be a good idea to build a big tin metal cage for his dogs and punish them for a month for biting someone (seeing that a month from now they'll really learn their lesson and remember not do do it again...) So not only were we already really blessed to hear the sound of rooster's crowing 24/7 (sometimes they even get the street light confused with the sun when it turns on at 3 a.m....), but we are now doubly blessed to wake up each morning to the sound of barking dogs running themselves into their tin metal cage walls over and over again, and then proceeding to hear their owner hit their cage with a stick repeatedly, hoping that they'll be quiet. I don't think he realizes that it's not working... They just continue to bark and pound themselves into the walls all day, every day.

I'm now considering making a new white noise machine that incorporates all of these wonderful sounds into it. I really think it'd be a big seller...

Streams in the Desert

2010-03-28T06:10:00.000-07:00

This Streams in the Desert devotional was such an encouragement to me on March 26 and exactly what I needed to hear during this time. God is so faithful in giving us such abundant peace when we seek Him with all of our hearts.

"No desire will ever be placed in you by the Holy Spirit unless He intends to fulfill it. So let your faith rise up and soar away to claim all the land you can discover." -S.A. Keen

"Everything you can comprehend through faith's vision belongs to you. Look as far as you can, for it is all yours. All you long to be as a Christian, and all you long to do for God, are within the possibilities of faith. Then draw closer to Him, and with your Bible before you, and your soul completely open to the power of the Spirit, allow your entire being to receive the baptism of His presence. As He opens your understanding, enabling you to see His fullness, believe HE has it all for you. Accept for yourself all the promises of His Word, all the desires He awakens within you, and all the possibilities of what you could become as a follower of Jesus. All the land you see is given to you."

When the earthquake hit...

2010-03-25T15:31:00.000-07:00

It was such an eerie feeling being in an earthquake and walking outside of our guest house to see dust everywhere, hear nothing but wailing that filled the air, feel the earth still rumbling, and see the people raising their hands praising God that they were kept alive. It is impossible to truly describe what it was like to see all of these people running up to us with their bloody children in their arms, and see so many people covered in dust and blood and deep wounds everywhere. It was so sad for me to hold the hand of a little injured girl who had just lost her mother in the earthquake, but she didn’t know it yet. Or hearing that one of our staff members was most likely dead because her whole university had collapsed and only a few had come out alive, but all we could do was hear it, and keep moving because there was no time to cry. Patients were brought to us from all over the city, because some of the hospitals had collapsed, and some had just shut down. It all seems so surreal, even now. Every time we woke up, we all hoped it was just a bad dream that we had just woken up from, but it wasn’t. We still had hundreds of wounded patients to tend to.

Below: photos of our triage center and our patients

No one should ever have to go through an experience like that. But yet, in a way i am glad i was able to, because i was able to feel God’s presence more than ever before. He sustained us through it all and gave us such endurance. I can’t even begin to describe how deeply in love with the Lord I am. Our orphanage is called “The Light House” in French, and we truly were able to be that for the people, thanks to God, and are continuing to be that. We have been able to offer hope to these people, which is the reason we were even put on this earth!

It was a strange feeling not feeling safe anywhere during those first few weeks after the earthquake. Our back wall surrounding our house had fallen down, so we were completely vulnerable to people coming onto our property. And they knew we had food, because we were an orphanage, so we were at high risk. But if i locked up the house really securely, then when the aftershocks came, we didn’t know where to go! When the 6.0 aftershock came one morning a week after the first earthquake, we all jumped out of bed and just kind of ran around our room not sure what to do because we were so locked inside! There really was no safe place to be. Being inside was dangerous, and being outside was dangerous, so if i didn’t have Christ, i would have been a wreck! He gave me such an indescribable peace. There were thieves lurking around every night, and people watching us by day. People tried to break into our houses a couple nights. The first week we had to ration our food and water because we didn’t know where our next food would be coming from. Gunshots would go on during the night (but that is normal in haiti), but through all of this, there was only one night when i let fear get the best of me. The rest of the time, i was at such peace about anything that happened, because I knew that Christ wouldn’t let anything happen to me that I couldn’t handle. I had such a confidence that God would provide for us, and God would sustain us no matter what happened.

Now i understand the Haitians, and now i understand that David is talking about in the Psalms when he talks about terror in the night, or enemies lurking all around him, and being able to put his confidence completely in the Lord.

It is so exciting though how Haiti really has turned to God during this time. As soon as the earthquake hit, they were all praising Jesus. A month ago, the nation of haiti declared a 3 day fast, so 90% of haiti fasted and prayed and didn’t do any work. They just marched along the streets by the thousands and worshipped Jesus. There is nothing more beautiful than that. So please keep haiti in your prayers, because this is only the beginning of what is to come with their restoration, and their hearts turning to the Lord.

So many lives have been lost, so many homes have been destroyed, so many people have been permanently injured, so many people will forever suffer emotionally, all from a 45 second natural disaster. It’s incredible how quickly life can change in less than a minute. If people truly lived with the mentality that life can literally be turned upside down within seconds, then how much more passionately would we live for God? Would we dare to be just a little more bold in our faith? Would we trust God more in both the little and big things in our lives, knowing that He’s sovereign and He will keep us exactly where He wants us? Are we willing to trust that the safest place to be really is in the center of God’s will? Are we willing to go wherever He wants us to go, no matter how hard or “odd” the calling is? I challenge you to really follow wherever the Holy Spirit leads you. Don’t hold back, because it’s not worth it. There’s no greater life than a life surrendered to God alone.

Nostalgia!

2010-03-15T11:29:00.000-07:00

After taking a much needed break from everything earthquake-related, I feel so rejuvinated and excited to be back in Haiti! I'll never forget how it felt to see all of the children run toward me and give me the biggest hugs ever when I returned! Everyone was so welcoming and I couldn't be happier to be serving alongside them. It's hard to explain, but there's also something about when i returned (i don't know if it's the smell of Haiti, the heat, or a combination (or something entirely different?)) that brings me back to when i first fell in love with Haiti and knew I wanted to live here. As I was thinking about everything and praising God that He restored me, He reassured me that He put a new spirit in me. I feel so blessed that He has heard my cries and heard the prayers of everyone around me! He has given me my joy back.

When My Strength is Weak

2010-02-19T08:27:00.000-08:00

-When My Strength is Weak-

When my strength is weak,

it is God who upholds me.

When i feel like i have nothing left to give,

it is then that He carries me in His arms.

When my sorrow is great,

and my burdens only seem to multiply,

it is then that God takes my burdens from me.

When my strength is weak,

it is God who upholds me.

I know that many of you have been wondering why I haven’t posted in awhile. The reason is, I didn’t even know where to begin. How do I describe to you the amount of pain and sorrow that i see day in and day out? How do I let you know how deeply in love with the Lord I am, yet at the same time, how do i let you know that my heart has become callous to the pain and endless needs everywhere? It’s hard to share with you the fact that my heart has broken so much for the people (pre-earthquake, and now post-earthquake my heart has been broken 1000x more) that it doesn’t even feel like it has the capacity to break anymore. It’s a terrible feeling that I hope I never have to experience again. It is the reality of going through a traumatic event though, so I thank God that I’m not the only one! Because of this new level of, whatever it could be called, I knew I needed to take a break from everything, and praise God that I had others close to me here who urged me to do this. As soon as I realized I was able to take a break, I felt such a huge weight lifted off of me, and my heart felt like it was already becoming softer again! I know that may sound cheesy, but it’s true! It was such an amazing feeling, and it’s simply because God is so gracious and knows our needs!

As I laid in bed two nights ago, the rain began to pour down for the first time since the earthquake, and my heart was once again greatly burdened for the people outside living under their little tarps, because now it has begun: now the diseases will begin to spread because of the decomposing bodies lying underneath the rubble, now the hurricane season is coming, now the mudslides will begin to wash away even more homes and people. The Haitian’s need your prayers more than ever now. Please don’t forget about them now that some of the initial “hype” is over. This is only just the beginning.

His All-Surpassing Peace!

2010-01-30T11:00:00.000-08:00

Psalm 91

    ¹He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
         Will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
    ²I will say to the LORD, "My refuge and my fortress,
         My God, in whom I trust!"
    ³For it is He who delivers you from the snare of the trapper
         And from the deadly pestilence.
    ⁴He will cover you with His pinions,
         And under His wings you may seek refuge;
         His faithfulness is a shield and bulwark.
    ⁵You will not be afraid of the terror by night,
         Or of the arrow that flies by day;
    ⁶Of the pestilence that stalks in darkness,
         Or of the destruction that lays waste at noon.
    ⁷A thousand may fall at your side
         And ten thousand at your right hand,
         But it shall not approach you.
    ⁸You will only look on with your eyes
         And see the recompense of the wicked.
    ⁹For you have made the LORD, my refuge,
         Even the Most High, your dwelling place.
    ¹⁰No evil will befall you,
         Nor will any plague come near your tent.
    ¹¹For He will give His angels charge concerning you,
         To guard you in all your ways.
    ¹²They will bear you up in their hands,
         That you do not strike your foot against a stone.
    ¹³You will tread upon the lion and cobra,
         The young lion and the serpent you will trample down.
    ¹⁴"Because he has loved Me, therefore I will deliver him;
         I will set him securely on high, because he has known My name.
    ¹⁵"He will call upon Me, and I will answer him;
         I will be with him in trouble;
         I will rescue him and honor him.
    ¹⁶"With a long life I will satisfy him
         And let him see My salvation."

I can't believe how much my perspective has been changed when reading the Bible ever since the earthquake and the various attempted break-in's during the night. Now I understand what David is talking about when he talks about "terror in the night,", or having enemies lurk all around him, or when he talks about nowhere being completely safe. Or when I read the book of Isaiah, now I know what it's like to live in a place that is destroyed (Isaiah 25) and will now be able to be rebuilt upon the foundation of God. Now I understand what it feels like to not know where my next meal is coming from, or when I'll have an abundance of water again to drink and shower with.

In the midst of all of this though, God has continued to keep my heart steadfast in Him, and has given me so much peace about all of it. There was only one night when fear really got the best of me, but God was able to help me quickly overcome it. I can't imagine doing any of this without Christ. I think that me and everyone else here would probably be a complete wreck if we didn't have Jesus! He has given us strength and a peace of mind that couldn't have come from anything but God. We really have no idea how we were able to keep going on with so many sleepless nights the first week when it happened, but the Lord kept us going, and praise God He did, because many people wouldn't have survived and been able to tell of God's grace in saving them! Praise God we were able to be His hands and feet to them!

This past week we have been getting things back in order, and figuring out how to best minister to all of the starving, homeless communities surrounding us. I have been busy working on taking inventory of all of our food donations, getting ready to start up the feeding program again this Monday, visiting different communities living under tents all around us, distributing food to all of our staff, their families and other communities, getting our guest house back to normal, taking inventory of everything we now need for our guest house and our boys and girls homes (all of our pillows are now gone, many of our mattresses are destroyed, and many of our sheets are now not usable because they were used for our many patients in our triage center), and I am now able to focus on the guest house again. Our boys are moved back into their homes and our girls are sleeping downstairs at the Manassero's house. We were finally able to convince them that it's okay to sleep inside again (the first time that we had convinced them of that, we had the 6.1 aftershock come the next morning)! We've temporarily fixed almost all of our walls surrounding our houses, and have more security now. So the rest is up to God to protect us. He is in total control, and He has kept us alive for a reason, so we will continue to trust that He will protect us amidst all of this. He is bigger than all of this! Thank you all for your continued prayers, e-mails, support, and donations! We have adequate food and water now, and have been supplied with enough to be able to give to others. So thank you! Your prayers really are felt here, and your prayers have been answered daily for us and our ministry, so please continue praying for us and the Haitians, as this is just the beginning of so much more that God has in store for this country.

When Tragedy Strikes Haiti

2010-01-16T14:00:00.000-08:00

It's impossible for me to explain to you what it's like being here right now. I never thought that seeing decaying flesh, broken limbs, wounded children, battered heads, and lost limbs would become so normal to me. I never thought I would be one of the 3 main helpers in the amputation of a woman's foot at 1 a.m. last night. I now know what it feels like to not know for sure where my meals will be coming from in the following weeks. Our main staple now is spaghetti, rice and beans. I now understand what it feels like not to be able to bathe whenever I want, and have water accessible at all times. I can't explain to you what it feels like to hear each day that another loved one that's close to us here, have died underneath the rubble. It's weird saying goodbye to my close friends as they evacuate. Countless deaths have been accounted for. Today the UN showed up and is camped out at our house for the day with their 5 search and rescue dogs. Their dogs have found two dead bodies so far today in the house behind mine, and that is just the beginning of what they're going to find in these houses. I don't understand why all of our houses, including our orphanages, are perfectly fine with only the outside walls to fix. All i know is that God needed us to be there for all of these hundreds of people that have been brought to our clinic/"hospital." It has been such a peaceful place here though, despite everything going on, because God is at the center of it all. There is something about the street that we live on and the people on it right now, that is so calm and surreal amidst all of this tragedy. It's incredible. We know that God is present, and living, and active. He is doing His work among these people, and He is filling them with peace and hope. Even all of those who i have talked to who have lost their best friends, sister's, nieces, etc., are still able to say that they trust in the Lord and know that He is sovereign. Incredible.
I praise God that He wanted me here to help the people that I love so much. And for some reason, He has saved me from any injuries from the earthquake, and He has let us be a refuge to all of these people. I wouldn't want it any other way than to be here suffering alongside these Haitians and to be able to relate on a deeper level because we're all experiencing it together. Me and the rest of us who are living here wouldn't want it any other way than to be here with these people, and I praise God for that! Though terror may go on in the night, though riots may break out, though we're still having aftershocks, though we're not entirely sure where our next food supply will come from once our spaghetti runs out, I know that I have my Jesus, and He is everything I need.

Psalm 108

My heart is steadfast, O God;

I will sing, I will sing praises even with my soul

Awake, harp and lyre;

I will awaken the dawn!

I will give thanks to You, O Lord, among the people.

And I will sing praises to You among the nations.

For your lovingkindness is great about the heavens.

And your Truth reaches to the skies.

Be exalted, O God, above the heavens,

And Your glory above all the earth.

To view my earthquake photos, click HERE

We need to give hope

2010-01-07T17:11:00.000-08:00

While driving home through the rain after spending the most perfect day laying out, swimming, kayaking, and eating at Wahoo Beach (Click here for my photos) with the team that’s here, i couldn’t help but be overcome with sadness as i looked around at all of the poverty and desperation surrounding us on all sides as we drove through the crowded streets.

Through this, i was reminded once again why i am here. to bring hope and joy to these people. to share about Christ. to give a cup of cold water to the thirsty. to clothe the naked. to give hope to the women who have been left by their husbands to care for their 5 children with no job and no food and no permanent place to live. to hold the neglected children in my arms and show them that they’re loved. to pray with the starving children. to show them that God is real. When all is said and done, this is all that matters.

While i was looking at these people on the side of the street, and looking at the trash and large dumps along the riverbank, i saw a woman in rags holding out her hand begging for money from the passerby’s. Now you have to understand, i see this all of the time, but there was something about this woman that really broke my heart, and all i wanted to do was stop and give her something to eat and show her that God cares for her. She looked so hopeless. It is my role, and everyone else’s role, to give these people hope! We need to be asking God to show us how to give this hope to those He places in our lives!

Along with this sadness and urgency to care for the people of haiti, i was also overcome with an incredible amount of joy that God has called me here to show these people His love! I couldn’t be more thankful!

Shopping with our Feeding Program Kidsies!!

2010-01-05T14:20:00.000-08:00

I'm just now able to sit back and relax for a bit after a long day of eating and shopping with 15 of our feeding program children. The team that's here right now wanted to make some of our feeding program children feel really special by bringing them to the market to spend $50 each on any clothes and shoes that they wanted. Nothing beats being able to pick out your own cute clothes to wear! So it was a big blessing for all of us to take part in something like this! Many of those 15 children have probably never been further than a few blocks from their homes, have never had a meal from Epidor, and i'm sure have never been able to pick out their own outfits to wear! It was so fun seeing them light up as they showed off their clothes to all of us. I really hope and pray that these children today will know how much God loves and cares for them!

Merry Christmas from all of us!!

2009-12-16T18:25:00.001-08:00

These Past Four Months...

2009-12-15T09:23:00.000-08:00

I can hardly believe it's been four months already that i've lived here. It doesn't seem possible. Time has flown by so quickly. As i look back on my time here so far, i can't help but be so thankful for all that God has done and has been doing in the lives of everyone here, including me. He is just so good! Through every trial, affliction and hardship that we go through, God always sees us through everything and refines us and makes us even more useful for His Kingdom!

Some things that I absolutely love about living here are...

i love that i don't have to say goodbye

i love that i get to say goodnight to the children each night and pray with them

i love that i can make plans with the kids for months to come and know that i'll still be here

i love that we can decorate christmas trees and bake christmas cookies together
i love that i was able to make a gingerbread house!

i love that we can even buy christmas trees here!

i love that both me and the children can reach out to the poor and destitute together through our feeding program and village outreaches

i love that i get to know more about the children each day
i love that they come to me when they're scared and feeling sick
i love that we can be goofy together and dress up in some of our...more interesting clothes ;)

i love that i am able to have times of mourning and times of rejoicing with them
i love that i was able to rejoice with Alex, James and Jocelyn when we found out that God blessed all three of them with visas!
i love that i was able to see them off at the airport as they flew off to New York City

i love looking at pictures from past years and realizing that those same children are the ones that are in children in the feeding program

i love my wonderful friends here that i cherish so much and couldn't imagine life without them!

i love that this is the new normal for me

and i love that i can still see beauty like this

Thank you to all of you who have made this all possible for me. I honestly couldn't do all of this without all of your unending prayers, your incredible encouragement, your wonderful e-mails full of wisdom and godly advice and updates on your lives so i can feel like i'm still a part of your lives, and without you supporting me every step of the way as I seek to honor Him. I praise God for all of you!!

Do. Not. Worry.

2009-12-10T11:12:00.000-08:00

This is one of the greatest stories I have ever read. Hopefully it will impact you as much as it has impacted me this past week.

From Streams in the Desert, December 1st:

A prominent believer once told of his mother, who was a very anxious and troubled Christian. He would often talk with her for hours, trying to convince her of the sinfulness of worrying, but to no avail. She was like the elderly woman who once said that she had suffered a great deal, especially from the troubles that never came.

Then one morning his mother came to breakfast with a smile adorning her face. He asked her what had happened, and she began describing a dream she had in the night. In her dream, she was walking along a highway with a large crowd of people, all of whom seemed very tired and burdened. The people were all carrying little black bundles, and she noticed that more bundles were being dropped along the way by numerous repulsive-looking creatures that seemed quite demonic in nature. As the bundles were dropped, the people stooped down to pick them up and carry them.

Like everyone else in her dream, she also carried her needless load, being weighted down with the devil's bundles. After a while, she looked up and saw a Man whose face was loving and bring as He moved through the crowd, comforting her people. Finally He came to her, and she realized it was her Savior. She looked at Him, telling Him how tired she was, and He smiled sadly and said, "My dear child, these bundles you carry are not from me, and you have no need of them. They are the devil's burdens, and they are wearing out your life. You need to drop them and simply refuse to touch them with even one of your fingers. Then you will find your path easy, and you will feel as if 'I carried you on eagles' wings [Ex. 19:4]."

The Savior touched her hand, and peace and joy quickly filled her soul. As she saw herself in her dream casting her burdens to the ground and ready to throw herself at His feet in joyful thanksgiving, she suddenly awoke, finding that all her worries were gone.

From that day forward to the end of her life, she was the most cheerful and happy member of her family.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

2009-11-26T05:36:00.000-08:00

A few things I miss...

I miss you all so much and wish I could be there to celebrate with you today! I'll just keep looking over my pictures from last year to try to feel like I'm there with you :) Happy a happy Thanksgiving! I'm so thankful for all of you!

The beautiful trash that lines the roads here...

2009-11-25T08:31:00.000-08:00

The new way to shop...

2009-11-20T21:44:00.000-08:00

Who needs grocery stores when you can just buy raw meat in baskets along the street? And who needs dressing rooms when you can now just try on everything over your jeans and shirts and have all of the vendors help you put it on?

My friend Will and I, whom is one of my dearest friends here in Haiti now, have had so much fun getting out of our houses once in awhile and going shopping together at this market in Petionville where we can find the cutest things and barter the price down to basically nothing. It's now my new favorite kind of shopping, and in my opinion, it beats anything in the states, because not only do we get things for super cheap, but everything is so cute!! It's like shopping in Forever 21, only just the slightest difference in atmosphere...

The best part about all of it is that we get to smell the great aroma of pigs and trash and step in all of it as we make our way down the hill through the hundreds of people and merchants (vendors). This past Saturday some of the mud splattered up on my leg and I decided not to imagine what was actually in that mud...

GPS: Route 102

2009-11-14T22:27:00.000-08:00

Rush hour traffic on this Route 102 highway (below) was TERRIBLE for us this past Tuesday morning, as you can obviously tell. The donkeys and people walking would not stay in their own lanes as they made their way to the market (pictured below)! Next time we'll leave earlier so we can beat this traffic...

I couldn't believe it when I saw on the GPS that this is one of Haiti's few main highways in the whole country that is actually marked as Route 102. It's just a dried up river way up in the mountains that is somehow worthy of being called a main highway! All i have to say is, Haiti never ceases to amaze me :)

"Merry Christmas!"

2009-11-13T21:48:00.000-08:00

Singing/ twinkling Christmas lights are now my new all time favorite Christmas decoration for the season! If some of you haven't heard them yet, you definitely need to buy yourself some. It's a must. When i woke up early on my 25th birthday, my roommate Whitney (a.k.a. Zaboca) and my good friend Ariana had decorated my kitchen and living room with these lights and tinsel and this Happy birthday sign, and had made me really tasty breakfast burritos and fresh berries. Mmmm. As many of you know, Christmas for me starts officially in November (although Christmas music fills my room even in October), so this was the perfect way to really kick off my holiday season, and my birthday. Though it's 500 degrees outside (okay maybe not THAT hot, but still) and 1000% humidity, it still somehow feels like the Christmas season..... So thank you to all who made my birthday so perfect!

To Have No One

2009-10-28T17:52:00.000-07:00

To have no family. To have no job. To have no one to turn to. This is what one woman named Esta is dealing with right now who came to us yesterday with her little year and a half old girl. They have no where to live, only random people's porches. Her husband died in a car accident when her child was only 3 months old, leaving her with nothing. When she came to us yesterday, she burst into tears as she was telling her story. She has absolutely no one to turn to. She had heard about our orphanage from people downtown, so she made her way up to us because it was the only hope she had. Praise God He brought them to us! We're praying about what to do with them, but we know God will give us wisdom in how to help them out. Her daughter, Michina, is absolutely gorgeous and is one of the cutest babies i've ever seen. I wish i knew how to help. One of my favorite parts about living here though is when i get to find new little outfits for these children that have absolutely nothing, so I thank God I can at least help in those small little ways!

A piece of sunshine for my home

2009-10-23T20:13:00.000-07:00

Why not eat a cat?

2009-10-20T22:53:00.000-07:00

So, when a cat dies in the U.S., we usually dig a hole, bury it, and more often than not, perform a small ceremony for the cat.

Here in Haiti though, it's a little bit different... Today one of our cats died from eating a chicken bone sadly enough. At first I thought we were just going to put it in the bag that our neighbor gave to us, and then bury it somewhere. However, I soon realized I shouldn't have assumed such a thing...our neighbor was going to eat our cat for his meal tonight.

Cat is a delicacy for Haitians, especially on Christmas, so we will definitely be keeping a close eye on our cats at the orphanage as Christmas approaches, because we wouldn't want to see any of our cats in a main food dish on Christmas day!

Maybe we should bring this tradition to the states.......... ;-)

Last night I witnessed a miracle!

2009-10-19T09:11:00.000-07:00

God Moving

So last night about 25 of us got together and watched the Finger of God film (watch the trailer! http://www.fingerofgodfilm.com/). I had heard many amazing things about it, but wanted to see it for myself. At first I thought it was a little weird, because it was talking about how God is showing Himself miraculously through various things, such as giving people gold teeth all of a sudden, God making people shimmer with gold on their skin after they're done praying, etc. Sounds a little weird, huh? That's what I thought. Then the movie begins to show how God is working around the world and bringing all glory to Him through healing's, raising of the dead, the casting out of demons etc. In the U.S., the Holy Spirit is not talked about as much as it should be. We often have a hard time comprehending that we have the SAME Holy Spirit that raised Christ from the dead! We all have the same Holy Spirit that God gave to Jesus when He was here ministering on this earth! Do we really realize this?! God tells us that we are to walk in the same manner as Jesus walked, so why do we pick and choose which parts of this "walk" we're actually going to follow?

Matthew 4: 23 - 24

²³Jesus was goingthroughout all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues andproclaiming the gospel of the kingdom, and healing every kind of disease and every kind of sickness among the people.

²⁴The news about Him spread throughout all Syria; and they brought to Him all who were ill, those suffering with various diseases and pains, demoniacs, epileptics, paralytics; and He healed them.

The Miracle

So after we watched the movie, we were discussing the film and were talking about the strange glitter and gold teeth experiences and what that could mean. We believe that God is doing these miracles to show that we can't put Him in a box. He can do whatever He pleases, and wants to remind us that He is all powerful and able to do ANYTHING. As we were discussing this, we looked over and Kenny, Susette's little son, began shimmering with gold on his arm!

We all began praying for more belief and less doubt that we really do have the same Holy Spirit that is ready to heal and save! During our prayer session, I began praying that God would make me and others shimmer with gold after our prayer session was done. I knew God could do it, and knew He wanted to do it. In the middle of our prayers, I looked at my hands, hoping I would see something, but I didn't. So i began praying again for it to happen. I looked again, and nothing. So I prayed for the third time for it (we're supposed to be persistent in our prayers even if they aren't answered right away!), and when we were all done with our prayers, I looked up, and I was sparkling with gold on the tops of my hands!! I showed my friend Nichole the tops of my hands and she was ecstatic, and then she noticed that my face also had a streak of gold on it! I showed a few others the tops of my hands, and they too looked at their hands and noticed a few of them were shimmering as well!! Praise God!!

Now I really want you to know that I too am as skeptical as many of you who hear of these kinds of things, but I would hope that all of you who are reading this would know me well enough to know that I would never make something like this up. This is the truth, and God is working mightily, because He so badly wants to display His glory to the world. Last night I had begged Him to increase my faith in Him, and asked Him to make my hands sparkle, so I would then have greater faith to go out and heal the sick and raise the dead. He was faithful.

Let us study the life of Christ, and exemplify EVERYTHING that He did, not just the parts that are easy to grasp. I challenge you to do this. To God be all the glory forever and ever!

The Eternal City

2009-10-14T09:48:00.000-07:00

Hebrews 13:14

"For here we do not have a lasting city,

but we are seeking the city which is to come."

This verse daily gives me so much peace about all that I do here in Haiti. Even though things don't always go the way that I planned, God is constantly reminding me that I'm to cast ALL of my cares, worries and concerns on Him, and not let the things here on earth get me down, because everything will soon pass away, and one day I will be living eternally with my Savior! So while we're here on earth, let us fix our eyes on the Author and Perfecter of our faith, and throw off anything that hinders us from advancing the Kingdom of God. Let us remember that we are not living in a lasting city, but are seeking the City which is to come!

"Maman'm!"

2009-10-12T21:49:00.000-07:00

My heart breaks for these two children, America & Jameson, who attend our feeding program, and who the Manassero's have known and cared for for many years. They are both so malnourished, frail, and have never been cared for properly by their mom. I remember going to their house three years ago and seeing America drag her bare bottom on their dirty ground to get to wherever she needed to go. She is mentally handicapped, and has been so neglected by her mom all of her life. However, she is such a joy to all she comes in contact with here at our orphanage. Everyone can't help but love her frail little self with all of her zest and energy. She's so joyful and happy and never cares what others think of her. She is always running around, dancing, calling everyone, including the men, "maman'm!" (translated "my mom!"), and is always clinging onto us, never wanting to let us go. She is constantly smiling and ready to give hugs and kisses to all she comes in contact with. Though it's sometimes hard to get my work done at the feeding program when she's bouncing around everywhere, ;-) I can't help but love her so much! Jameson, her baby brother, is such an added blessing to my life as well. He used to cry for so long after he'd part with his mom, but now he finally trusts me enough to be content staying in my arms, which makes me so happy :) I pray that I can love him like a mom in all my interactions with him, because these children need love so desperately! Please be praying that their mom will learn how to love and care for her children through watching our interactions with them, and that she will come to know Jesus!

If you ever want to mail something...

2009-09-28T10:19:00.000-07:00

Okay so after much pondering, i've realized more what i miss having here in Haiti, so here's a little list of things that i'd love to receive in the mail for those of you who have been wondering...

Nail polish
Cute skirts (M-L)
Foot scrubs
Cute shirts/tank tops (S-M)
Face masks
Wall paintings/photos (my walls are empty!)
Swedish fish
Sour patch kids
Fun girlie movies, inspirational movies, disney movies, kid movies, tv series (watching movies is one of our only forms of entertainment here!)
Card games/board games
Work out shorts
Sandals and tennis shoes for our boys and girls (and our neighbor children) are much needed!

My mailing address here is:

(please only specify on the INSIDE of the package that it's for me...they may send the package back to its original sender if they don't know who "Dana Ver Burg" is. Confusing I know...)

Bill Manassero
Child Hope International
c/o Agape Flights #PAP 16174
100 Airport Ave.
Venice, FL 34285-3901

We are charged $2 per pound for shipped items upon pick-up (a small plane takes it from the address in Florida to the missionary post office here in PAP (the flight is what we're charged for), so please enclose a check or cash in the package. It takes roughly a month to get here by the way. Thank you again to those of you who have already put packages in the mail for me! It means so much to me, and makes me feel closer to home! I love you all so much, and always thank God for all of you.

What's normal in Haiti...

2009-09-17T20:39:00.000-07:00

Only in Haiti is it...

Looked at oddly if seatbelts are worn...

Uncommon to put a child in a car seat

Normal to see people carrying machetes around

Normal to receive an Avis rental car covered in mud and dents

Weird if there aren't at least 15 ants in my kitchen daily

Normal to have multiple armed guards at the grocery store

Normal to cram 15 people into a 5 seater vehicle...

Not uncommon to drive in the pouring down rain in the dark with no headlights, only emergency blinkers to light the way home...

Below: one of my guards, Reginald

Philippians 4: 4-7

2009-09-16T21:58:00.000-07:00

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

God has really spoken to me just recently about continuously have peace in all situations, and rejoicing ALWAYS. Being anxious or frustrated solves nothing, as I have realized. This past month I have fallen into the trap of feeling anxious about many things, but Paul specifically addresses this issue to the church of Philippi by repeating over and over how important it is to rejoice in ALL situations. I think we all need to be reminded that Christ is waiting for us to call out to Him and present EVERYTHING to Him, no matter how big or small it is...He loves us so much!

On a different note...

Two weeks ago, we got two new little additions to our boys and girls orphanages. Above is Estaline, 15 months old (she looks like she's 6 months due to her size when she was born as well as malnourishment). Everyone, including the girls at our orphanage fell instantly in love with her the minute they saw her. How could we not fall in love with those gigantic brown eyes?!
To the right is her brother, Yvenel, age 8. He has the longest eyelashes i've ever seen on a child, and the most beautiful, warm smile. I'm excited for visitors to meet him, as I know they'll instantly fall in love with him. Two weeks ago, their mom passed away due to asthma. Please be praying for these two little children (and their older brother who isn't with us) as they're dealing with the loss of their mom )= As far as I know, their dad isn't in the picture at all (which is unfortunately very common here in Haiti). Please also be praying that they will grow up to love the Lord above all else!

Our Feeding Program

2009-08-30T21:14:00.001-07:00

Children with scabies, worms, bloated tummies, head fungus, orange hair from lack of food & water; these are all normal for our 80+ children that attend our feeding program 3x a week. They are fed rice & beans, taught about the Lord, memorize Bible verses and sing worship songs. Our orphan children lead the entire program, which is such an incredible opportunity for them to serve their own community in this kind of way. Just this past month the leadership has changed, and now one of our boys, Alex, is the main leader over all of it. His dream one day is to start his own orphanage and have his own feeding program, so this is perfect for him. He is perfect for this position. His love for the Lord is so evident, he has energy to get the kids and volunteers excited, and he really loves and adores the children. We (our boys and girls included) all want to begin going on a regular basis down to their homes (photo below of their homes) and ministering to their entire families. Please be praying for this ministry, as I am overseeing it and want it to be glorifying to God in every way. I so badly want our children to be excited to work hard in serving the children, and to do their jobs well. There is some restructuring that needs to take place, so please be praying that Alex and I are able to get this going smoothly. I want to rely not on our own strength but on God's. This week I have caught myself relying on my own strength more and stressing about how to make this feeding program more organized, and it was completely draining. I want this to be completely through God and for God, nothing else.

Another prayer request is for me adjusting to living here. It's been hard. Though I know I am supposed to be here, I know God has called me here, and wouldn't want to be anywhere else, it is still hard for me. I don't feel completely home here yet (it's only been two weeks though so I can't be TOO hard on myself ;), the language barrier is frustrating for me (I'm unable to grow closer with the children and i'm unable to have much of a sense of humor yet with them), and it's just really hard to grasp that I don't have a return ticket. I don't know what God has in store for me, but I'm excited for what He's going to do. He is so faithful, and I am so blown away by His love for me and for these children. It's just been more tough than i thought (plus I'm dealing with about 35 boy and girl teenagers whose emotions are all over the place ;)

Julie is safe!

2009-08-23T16:08:00.000-07:00

Thank you all for your prayers! Praise God He kept the little girl safe through the night.

Yesterday afternoon her grandma kicked her out into the dirt street with all of her belongings, including her fake birth certificate, so we quickly took her to

our orphanage to take care of her for the time being until we can find her mom.

I was so amazed by the compassion that our orphan girls had for her. They quickly took her into their orphanage, bathed her, clothed her, and fed her. Her name is Julie, she is only 5 years old, and such a beautiful child.

Soon after that, I saw that her cousin was also trying to escape the grandma, but she was locked inside the gate and couldn't open it for some reason. I finally saw her climb over the huge fence (i don't know how she did it because it was very high and she hadn't eaten in two days!). We quickly rescued her as well. Her name is Jacqueline and is only 11.

Both of their heads hurt from the beatings as well as other areas of their bodies. When we got them, they both had cornmeal in their hair. Their grandma would punish them if they didn't eat their cornmeal by rubbing a hair product into their scalp and proceeded to put corn meal all over their heads. Praise God they are in safety with us and are well fed, clothed, and now can see the love of Jesus demonstrated to them! They came to church with us today, and it was such a blessing to be able to hold their hands and show them what true love is! I am so thankful to God that they will be able to get to know Christ through this!

Today, the grandma was lying naked on the ground inside of her gate and had a machete in her hand, ready to kill or greatly hurt anyone (including her children) who came near her. We're unable to speak to her at this time regarding the children. Please pray for her to be restored and redeemed by the grace of God!

Thank you so much to all who are praying!

Demonic attacks

2009-08-21T21:52:00.000-07:00

Today at the orphanage we were blasting worship music, and our next door neighbor came out onto the streets and began dancing for Satan with her red voodoo string to try to ward off God. She then began strangling her little granddaughter and stomping on her head and yelling "strength!" When people watched her or tried to stop her, she would throw rocks at them. Satan is trying his best to win. Some of the guys at our orphanage called the police, but the police are unable to do anything after hours without a judge if it's inside of someone's house and the gate is closed. Please be praying that that little girl does not get beaten to death tonight before her grandma is taken away tomorrow, and that this little girl will receive Christ through this experience. And please be praying for protection physically and spiritually as we're all surrounded by demonic attacks.

I'm here!!

2009-08-17T20:16:00.000-07:00

Well i've only been here a day and a half and have already been caught in a huge lightning and thunderstorm as we were out celebrating some of the kids birthdays, so therefore, of course, we had to cram a TON of us into their truck to try to escape the rain in the dark and conquer the muddy roads before even larger potholes were formed. Though i've always loved thunderstorms, it's always sad when it happens here in Haiti because we know that many of our neighbors will not be able to sleep that night because their homes are all flooded. Please be praying for these families (many of these children are currently attending our feeding program) as they are experiencing sleepless nights and mud filled homes, and with a hurricane soon approaching, there isn't much that they're able to look forward to. Please pray that these families will cling to Christ through this time and realize how ever powerful and sufficient He is, even in the worst of times. I love you all, and thank you for your many prayers!

Above: Photo of what many homes look like in Haiti (half completed)

In Preparation for Bucket Showers...

2009-08-04T10:36:00.000-07:00

Since hot, running showers are a luxury in haiti, tasty lattes come few and far between (if ever? i've never tasted a latte in haiti...do they even know what that is?), not even McDonald's exists (except for one sketchy Dominos pizza, which didn't taste at all like the real thing. who knows what they use for their meat?), and freedom is non-existent, i'm really trying to enjoy EVERYTHING about my last week and a half here in the U.S. Though to some it may not sound too appealing to live there ;-) i am so excited to finally be going back! Whenever i step foot off the plane into Haiti, nothing feels more like home to me. It's the strangest thing, but i love it.

My Brothers & I at our family BBQ in Washington

To view more of my family photos, go to:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/verburg/

Wesley

2009-07-04T10:32:00.001-07:00

One of the most incredible things that happened to me when I returned to Haiti this past February was seeing Wesley again. When I lived in Haiti in 2006, I always had such a heart for this little boy. He claimed that he and his sister were orphans, and daily hung outside of our gate asking for food (they were not part of our orphanage). He had such a sweet spirit and was always such a blessing to be around. When I returned to the states, I sent him this picture above and wrote on the back of it. Little did I know that it would mean so much to him. Below: Wesley & I in 2009 This past February when my mom and I went back to visit, I asked a few people where Wesley could be (because he was no longer hanging outside of the house). I soon found out that him and his sister did in fact have a mother, and they now lived in the ravine (a very poor area below our house where shoeless, half-clothed children run around and are rarely ever able to eat: thanks be to God though for our feeding program that is able to feed some of these malnourished children 3 times a week!). We went down to the ravine during our stay and all of a sudden i hear "DANA!" It was Wesley running out to greet me! He told me to stay where I was while he ran into his little shack and came out with a photo album. He opened it up and there was the picture I had sent him with my writing on the back. They have seen so many floods in the last 3 years, i don't know how he kept it in perfect condition. It meant the world to me that he cared enough about it to keep it in good condition. God is so good!

Back in the Day...

2009-07-04T10:25:00.000-07:00

Above: Keso & Daniel Above: The streets of Haiti Below: Our neighbor kids Below: My little boy Junior

Stop Trying to Prove Anything

2009-05-22T11:09:00.000-07:00

Yesterday a friend of mine came to me and said, "you know what Dana, this friend of ours needs to stop trying to prove himself to anyone. He has already gotten the job that he desired, and now he just needs to rest in who he is, and begin to take more time to really sit down and develop his friendships here. That is what is needed now in order for him to truly succeed in his role." This conversation made me re-evaluate my own outlook on life, and maybe it'll make you think twice about yours as well. My dream has always been to go show Christ's love to the orphans, and now my dream is becoming a reality. i can now rest in the fact that i am doing what God has intended me to do, quit trying to prove anything to anyone, and from there God will show me how to love others.

My New Faves Quote!

2009-05-14T16:17:00.001-07:00

"Give yourself fully to God. He will use you to accomplish great things on the condition that you believe much more in His love than in your own weakness" -Mother Teresa

Saturday, August 15th!

2009-05-07T12:39:00.001-07:00

I just booked my one-way (weird!) plane ticket to Port-au-Prince, Haiti on August 15th!!

When He has tried me, i shall come forth as gold

2009-05-04T16:15:00.000-07:00

Job 23: 8-10

"Behold, I go forward but He is not there;And backward, but I cannot perceive Him; When He acts on the left, I cannot behold Him; He turns on the right, I cannot see Him.But He knows the way I take;When He has tried me, I shall come forth as gold." I have been tried and tested a lot recently as I continue to prepare for my move to Haiti in 3.5 months. There have been many days when i feel like i can't hear God at all, and along with that, Satan is doing everything he can to bring me down. However, I was so encouraged the other day when i heard a sermon on Job, and though he felt so distant from God at times, he knew that God was seeing him through those difficult times and that, in the end, he would come forth more strong than ever. I'm so thankful that we serve a God who sees us through our most difficult times and always knows how to reach us and build us up to become stronger than we could ever possibly imagine. Video on my upcoming ministry in Haiti: http://www.obangatek.com/haiti/